20 Things Women Say Vs What They Actually Mean

Ladies, let's be honest. When it comes to men, we women can be confusing creatures. We don’t always express ourselves as simply as we can, which can make men think that we're annoyingly difficult.

It is hard for men to understand women an awful lot of the time due to men not always being able to pick up hints that we think we are dropping. Sometimes we think that men should know what we are really thinking, even if that is the opposite of what we are saying.

For example, if I say to my boyfriend, 'You can have that last slice of pizza,’ what I really mean is: I actually want that last slice, but I don’t want to seem greedy, and I am trying to be nice, please say no and insist on me eating it.

Sometimes it is easier for us to beat around the bush rather than come out and say what we are actually thinking, as we worry about the reaction we will get and how we are portraying ourselves. And yes, we know it sounds ridiculous, but that’s how we feel.

I can’t think of what I fancy to eat, but if you start eating, I will want what you're having and will soon join in and take your food, and don’t you dare moan about it.

Please reassure me and tell me that I look nice. I just need some comfort and sympathy.

You better either start thinking or start running, as I am about to kick your arse if you hesitate.

I am a bit of a bitch, okay, I admit it. But I just want to seem nice and a good person so you don’t think badly of me.

Nope. Any time I make a mistake which is not as bad as this, I will be bringing this up to throw back in your face. This is not forgotten. Oh, hell no.

Even if she’s a goddamn supermodel, you better point out a flaw and tell me she ‘isn’t your type’.

I just need to redo my hair and make-up, get my bag sorted, and look in the mirror another thousand times before I can leave the house, and then go running back in to make sure all appliances are turned off.

Photo by kevin laminto on Unsplash

Well, I can have one... 5 drinks later, I’m so drunk I need help getting home.

Well, just my best friend, of course, and anyone else who brings up a similar subject, and I want to get involved. Oh, and probably my sister.

I am on my period. Please make me feel comfortable, bring me chocolate and entertain me.

Am I crazy? Do I cry too much? Please tell me. What do you think of me?

Photo by Yuris Alhumaydy on Unsplash

I know I probably am, but please tell me you're on my side and that you agree with me so I don’t feel like I’m a lunatic.

My wardrobe is so full of clothes, I don’t know where to start. I need something new, so I don’t have to dig through everything I own.

I spent ages getting ready. You must believe that this is my ‘natural’ look and tell me that I look stunning.

Careful. This is a test. In actual fact, it is not up to you, and the next few words you utter better be well thought out before answering. You must answer so it looks like it's your decision but think very carefully about how she would answer if it was her choice. This will make you look caring and considerate, and also like you have the same interests.

Cancel all your plans. If she’s not distracted by something, then she will find a reason to drag the process out and end up spending half the day there.

Don't allow any girl to get too close, and make it clear you're in a relationship and that I'm amazing. You should also be missing me and texting me every so often.

Just go away for two minutes and let me calm down. Then come back, give me a hug and tell me everything is going to be okay.

You better think of everything you could have possibly done wrong. Forgotten birthday? Anniversary? Whatever it is, it’s about to kick off. Rack your brains and be ready to be apologetic.

It is most certainly not okay. We need to talk about this for a long time until you have apologised for whatever it is you have done and give me a damn good reason.

Ah, women. We can be complex creatures at times, but hey, men aren’t so easy to live with either, right? I mean, how many times do we have to ask you to put your dirty socks in the laundry basket?

Disclaimer: This post was intended to be a bit of fun. We all need a little humour now and then to keep us sane. Plus, women are not as difficult and irrational as I have made out to seem in this post - well, we try to keep our shit together most of the time, at least.

Follow me on Twitter for more thoughts @imlaurengreen